If I Could Turn Back Time
by Slytherin Cat
Summary: As she cried against the wall, Hermione wished she could turn back time to before everything became so complicated. Before she had to leave the man she loved, Neville. Hermione/Neville.


OS written for the 'Stretch Your Limits' Competition (Killer Level) and the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp (prompt n°9, walk) on the HPFC.

Please review ;)

**If I Could Turn Back Time**

"Don't you understand? This is it Hermione; this is your last chance."

"I don't… I can't Neville. Not now, not here. I can't. I'm so sorry."

Neville tucked a small strand of her brown hair behind her ear, his finger trailing down her cheek. He held her close, one hand burrowed in her hair and his forehead resting against hers.

"Please… Please 'Mione, don't leave me…"

Hermione closed her eyes, fighting back tears, and breathed that smell that was so typically his and that she loved so much. It was like coming home. _But wasn't her home gone, lost to her now? _Except that she couldn't stay, because the world needed her and so she had to leave her home behind.

"I'm sorry, but I have to"

She left him standing there; looking lost and nearly run out of the Hogwarts' corridor without looking back, because she knew that if she did she would break. And she couldn't afford to break. Only when the bushy-haired witch was far enough did she let her tears fall down as she collapsed against the wall, hitting the ground again and again with her closed fists.

"It's not fair, it's not fair…" She didn't even know if she was saying that or if it was just her thoughts, but the only thing she knew was that it was the truth and that it hurt.

Why did she have to walk away when the only thing she wished to do was stay right there? She suddenly wished nothing had ever happened, that she had never met Harry, or Ron… That she was still just a normal and ignorant Muggle girl living in London, happy with her simple everyday life. She would have been happy, getting into a good university like she had planned and like she knew she could.

Why did she have to accept that offer? That so tempting offer?

_There is another world out there Mrs. Granger, a different, hidden and wonderful world, and it's waiting for you_, McGonagall had said. Her parents had been wary, but they had allowed her to leave and learn magic since it was obvious just how much the idea of discovering a new world (with new rules and new knowledge to learn) excited her.

She should have listened to them. Because if she had, she wouldn't be there, crying like there was no tomorrow – und unfortunately there would be tomorrows – wishing she could turn back the hands of time. Not that the last months hadn't been nice –they had been good, fantastic even – but she wished she could come back to when all of this was easier.

Back to when Neville was only a small pudgy boy with no self-confidence, back to when she was just a too nosy bookworm with no friends and no problems, back when she didn't knew how much love would hurt her.

It hadn't been like that in the beginning of course. No it had been quite nice at first, to have someone to count on, someone she could trust and talk to who wasn't just a friend, and someone who was actually listening to her and what she said and didn't have any problems of his own – like Harry and his 'how-will-I-ever-be-able-to-save-the-world' problems.

She would never have thought that she could have so much in common with the quiet Gryffindor but she discovered during this year just how much alike they were. Both had been shunned when they were young, both had difficulties to make friends, to be understood. And if they had been just friend for a while and quite easily, their relationship had quickly flourished into something more.

But now she had to leave, and she didn't know if she'd ever be back. Harry didn't seem to think he'd come back for their seventh year, and frankly, if he didn't then neither would she. And she would have to leave the boy she had come to love behind, just like Harry was leaving Ginny – and now she understood why he was always looking so sad nowadays – even though the only thing she wanted was to stay with him.

She had to walk away, and keep walking, for their own good, because he deserved better than a girl who wasn't even sure she'd see another year and she granted more importance to the world than to her own heart – because her heart would heal one day (in a long long time) but if the world ended she wouldn't even have that chance.

So she broke his heart – because though he said he understood, she knew it hurt him nonetheless and that wound may never heal – and prayed he'd find someone better than her, even if she hoped he wouldn't forget her – would forgive her.

Maybe once all this ended they would have another chance, but though this was the one thing she desired the most, her heart knew the chances to have it were almost nil.

_But one can always hope… Right?_


End file.
